Love defined
I’ve been thinking a lot about love in the context of romantic relationships lately. As I manifest someone kind, owns his masculinity divinely, bonus if he plays tennis, and with whom I can keep on evolving, I review my past relationships.
My definition of love has turned on its head. I used to believe in love at first sight. Okay, I still do, but it’s not at first sight. Those instances are souls who have loved each other over numerous lifetimes, all happening right now!
That squirrelly, passionate love plus a sacrifice here or there, is what I thought of love. I used to date someone who would say, “Love is a decision.” I thought that was the most unromantic thing I’d ever heard. In that context, it was a decision to stay together no matter what – even if you’re miserable.
Now, I understand the value of seeing it as a decision. Not one where you might be miserable (but you made it until death!), but a decision to live life knowing my partner has my best interest at heart. And I have his.
It can be hard to imagine, I know, since no two people ever agree on every, single thing. But does a difference in opinion, mean that one person necessarily has to lose?
Sacrifice is largely valued in this society. Let’s think about this word. Words have vibrations. There are some words that make you feel all yummy inside, and there are some words that are fingernails on a blackboard (if they still make those). What’s the vibe of sacrifice?
According to Wiktionary, sacer the Latin root of sacrifice means “fated (to destruction)”. I guess that comes from the practice of killing an offering to the gods. That doesn’t sound like something I want my relationships based on.
What if two people can actually come together as one, but still maintain their differentiation? To live in a space where the best interest of your partner is the best thing for you and vice versa.
How do lovers live life in that way? You need to get to the underlying, in the shadow, reason why you want to follow a particular path and why your partner wants to follow a different path.
If you want to go to Egypt for vacation, and your partner wants to ski in Switzerland, you might feel like you’ll lose out and just be “taking one for the team” if you go to Switzerland.
After digging deep, your partner admits that he gets lucky more often when you two are on cold vacations – getting cozy by the fire. So, maybe you can create an environment in Egypt where you are feeling scrumptious, like perusing titillating incenses at the bazaar.
And when your partner feels needed, you feel cherished. Everybody wins!
Let me know if you have any ideas on how to live in the best interest of each other and experience the state of “I am you. You are me.” All suggestions welcome.
