Wallow, my friend

I had a very ugly cry to “The Best of What’s Around” by the Dave Matthews Band a few days ago. The kind of cry when a triggering lyric causes a waterfall, and a headache is soon to follow.

The song reminds me of a friend on whose shoulder I wanted to cry, and who would answer me honestly to, “What the bleep is wrong with my judgment in men?”

And Dave Matthews, in general, reminds me of my college days of wonder and possibilities, when the band was playing for free on Tuesdays, and there’s no way I could like this band that all the sorority girls are following.

Is it payback for that judgment?

Well, the music of DMB has always made me smile, and dance, and cry. So, when I’m feeling any kind of emotion, it’s a good go-to band for me.

I stopped myself from transmuting hurt into anger, even though it would have been so easy to go there. I stopped myself from waking friends up in different time zones.

And I just wallowed. Sometimes you just have to let yourself think all the thoughts that you know in your heart aren’t true. But it’s your pity party, and you can cry if you want to.

That’s what I did. I’m kryptonite to all the men that have the qualities I desire. How could my instincts be so wrong? I better make it to Fiji before I die, shriveled up and alone. Blah, blah, and blah.

Now, see there? I just chuckled.  So many times, our loved ones just want to make us feel better. So, they’ll say all the good things about you and all the bad things about whomever else is involved.

But, sometimes you just have to thank them for wanting the best for you and ask them to let you wallow without interference.

Then you might even make yourself laugh.

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