Being thanked

In the past, I used to get irritated when I would be driving, let someone in, and they wouldn’t thank me. And by the past, I mean as of a few weeks ago.

What happened then? I was driving. There was a long line of traffic. Someone needed space to cross me and take a left. And there she went, without even a flicker of acknowledgement.

I was annoyed. Didn’t she know that I recognized she needed help, and I let her cut through the line, maybe making me a nanosecond later to my destination than I would have been if I hadn’t been so generous?

This time I caught myself and reflected upon my reaction. Do I let people in out of pure generosity, or do I let people in to be thanked?

I realized that I was making kindness in driving a transaction. I wanted something for what I was giving.

It was a good time for me to ponder what else in life I might have been giving for the pat on the back.

Do you ever do anything just to prove that you’re a good person? Think about whether there is anything you would no longer do or give, if you were never thanked or acknowledged. Whatever comes up – you’re not doing it just to give.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be acknowledged and valued. That’s how we get the best out of each other. Sometimes, however, the acknowledgement comes from a place where we’re not looking.

A mentor of mine once told me that she never lends money and expects to be paid back. If the person does so, that’s just a bonus. She’ll be “repaid” in other ways.

At the time she told me this, I remember thinking how freeing that must be – to not be resentful if someone doesn’t pay you back. It changed my perspective on money. I thought of this that day a few weeks ago in the car line.

I know how good I feel when someone lets me into traffic. And I wish that feeling onto everyone I let through. I’ve had the opportunity to be resentful since, and it has not reared its head.

I now let people in, not expecting a thank you. When it does happen, it’s a bonus! Of course, now I feel like I see gratitude on the road even more than before. Life – you funny.