You, unedited

I’m the only child. When people find this out about me, one of the most common questions I get is, “Do you have a hard time sharing?”

Actually, I do not. But the last time someone asked this, I quickly retorted, “Only myself.” Did I mean to be that honest?

I felt misunderstood growing up, from my parents to culture clashes with my peers to shyness in meeting new people.

As an observer, you probably wouldn’t be able to tell from how I act with my friends, but I really am an introvert. And Myers-Briggs has repeatedly said so for decades.

In romantic relationships, I’ve never felt loved for who I am. I’ve never felt understood.

After a lot of inner work and proactively taking the time to learn about men, I realize I never truly trusted the men in my life.

And to not trust a man who cares about you hurts him to the core. I wish I would have been taught that as a girl.

I wish I would have known before my first boyfriend that it doesn’t hurt me to receive something I can do or give to myself, but it will light him up to give it.

There’s a difference between having a healthy barrier and putting up an impenetrable barricade.

How can you be loved for who you are if you don’t reveal who you truly are?

We put up these walls, because we feel like we’ll be rejected or to maintain the status quo — you could be pretending to be the person you used to be to avoid a shake-up.

Of course, there’s always discernment. Trust yourself to know (not just hope, but know) deep in your bones when someone can be the container of your trust.

If they “abandon” you when you’re open and raw, then maybe that’s not your person.

But maybe they’ll have compassion, and just maybe that’s what they needed from you all along — to know that you trust them to be the keeper of you, unedited.